You Have to Mean It
by Witiko
Summary: Harry dose not believe that Voldemort is truly dead. After seeing all the death at the battle of Hogwarts he decides to go it alone this time. But will that really help to keep his friends alive?


Beep, Beep, Beep…

Harry's hand hit the button on Dudley's old alarm clock that he had repaired long ago, silencing the loud annoying sound that had just awoken him, but he did not get out of bed right away. Instead, he pulled the covers over his head trying desperately to get back to the dream he had been so rudely awaken from. It had been such a good dream after weeks of only tormenting nightmares. However, it was already fading from his mind, and finally giving up on the attempt he sat up in bed.

"Married to Ginny with two, or was it three kids?" Harry could not help but smile at the thought. But the smile quickly faded as the last of the dream was lost and his reality set in.

"Could only be a dream. I will never be able to have a normal life like that," Harry said aloud.

"But maybe Ron and Hermione can have that life now." This was Harry's last thought as he forced himself to get out of the bed and start another day.

Harry had set the alarm before going to bed last night to make sure he would be awake early enough for what he had planned this morning. For the last several weeks he had been using his father's old cloak to sneak into Diagon Ally unnoticed and that's what he was going to do again this morning. But the only way to sneak into such a crowded place was to get there and leave before the crowds showed up. So he was forced to get up at dawn on these days.

Harry quickly dressed, grabbed his cloak out of his old trunk, then went down to the kitchen to grab something to eat before he left for the day. He took the steps two at a time as he hurried down the stairs. Harry didn't need to worry about being quiet because there was no one else in the house to wake up or bother at all. It had been nearly three months since his duel with Voldemort and Harry had been living here alone since that day. He had stopped wondering a long time ago why the Dursley's had still not returned home, instead decided to be happy for at least one good thing in his life.

But it had also been three months since he had any contact with his friends and that he was not happy for. He wondered how they were doing these days as he got out the pan to make himself some bacon. Harry smiled as he thought of Ron and Hermione and how happy they must be now that they are finally able to be together.

Harry's thoughts turned to Mrs. Weasley as he sat down to inhale his breakfast. He hoped her clock had stopped pointing to mortal peril by now. She had enough to deal with, without that on top of everything else that had happened to her. The last time he saw her, she was upset enough about the loss of so many of her friends and family. She didn't need to be worried about the people she still had left. But Mr. Weasley was strong and he would help to get her past all that had happened. That Harry was sure of.

But as Harry thought about how his friends are now, he fought to keep any thoughts of Ginny and what she may be doing now out of his head. Every time he had thought about her these past few months, living her life without him, his stomach would twist into knots. His imagination would make up crazy stories of her being swept off her feet by some tall, dark, and faceless wizard. So he pushed all thoughts of his friends out of his head as he stepped out of the house.

As Harry stood on the welcome mat wearing his father's cloak so as not to be seen he made sure the door was locked tight behind him. He then put up most of the same protective charms around the house that Hermione had taught him last year while they were on the run. He did this every morning whether he was leaving or not, just to make sure he would be hard to find. The house was still visible to Muggles, however. He thought the house disappearing over night may draw unwanted attention to his situation.

With a pop he was gone from number four Privet Drive, and was now standing outside the Leaky Cauldron in London. He stood still for a few minutes, looking up and down the street. Partly to take in his surrounding, but mostly because every time he Apparated without a license he was afraid that a group of Aurors would appear out of nowhere and grab him. But he had taken the risk only a few weeks after he had arrived at the Dursley's home and not a single soul had ever come to arrest him in all the times he had Apparated. Therefore, he felt that Apparating to the Leaky Cauldron would be safe, or at least worth the risk, but the fear was still there every time he arrived at the Leaky Cauldron.

To Harry's relief, just like every time before, the street was empty and no one had appeared to arrest him. With a small sigh of relief Harry took his normal spot next to the door of the Leaky Cauldron to wait for the first customer of the day. The first time he had come here like this he had entered the pub without thinking about how noticeable a door opening into an empty pub would be. He also didn't know that Tom, the old Bartender, was also a wizard that did not like invisible people in his pub. If his cloak had been just any invisible cloak, Harry would have been found that day.

So from that day on Harry waited and followed the next customer into the pub. Some days he had to wait hours and a few lucky days he only had to wait minutes. This morning Harry only had to wait a few minutes before he saw the first customer walking towards him. He could see the man from more than a mile down the walk, but even from that far away he knew instantly who the man was.

"Hagrid!" Harry said aloud before he could catch himself. Luckily no muggles were around to hear his disembodied voice.

As Harry watched his old friend walking toward the Leaky Cauldron he could not help but wonder how he had been the last few months. Harry had been so busy with so many other problems that he had not thought about Hagrid much. Harry felt even worse about forgetting about his oldest friend when he noticed that Hagrid was crying as he swung the door open and walked into the Leaky Cauldron. Harry quickly followed him inside and all the way up the bar unnoticed.

"Tom," he said, as he tried to hold back his tears. "I need a drink. Make it a strong one, if yeh please."

"Hagrid, what's wrong, son?" replied Tom, as he pulled a rather large mug from under the bar and filled it, the whole time staring up at Hagrid's swollen face.

"Have yeh not read today's Prophet?" asked Hagrid as he pulled out a copy of the Daily Prophet from one of his many pockets.

Harry moved in closer to read the headlines of the paper that Hagrid was now passing to Tom. There was no need to worry about being heard over Hagrid's heavy breathing and sobs, but still being cautious Harry silently leaned over the counter to see around Hagrid's massive arms. He hoped this may be what he had been waiting the last few months to hear about.

**Search called off; Harry Potter declared dead.**

Harry nearly fell off the bar before he caught himself. He had not expected this at all. He knew they would come looking for him. That is why he returned to the Dursley's, of course. No one would expect him to go back there, not to the place he had always hated. Even if they did, he was well hidden with all the spells that Hermione had taught him. But he thought they would have given up the search weeks ago at very least. But to think him dead? Harry looked back around Hagrid and continued to read the article.

**Since Harry Potter's disappearance only hours after his Heroic Defeat of He- Who- Must- Not –Be****-**** Named, the Ministry has attempted everything in their power to find the boy.**

"It is as if he just walked off the grounds," said Kingsley Shaklebolt, in a recent interview. "We cannot find any reason for him to have left and he has not been in contact with anyone over the last three months. We are forced to conclude that we may never know what happened to Harry Potter."

Many people believe that the search is being called off too soon. "No evidence has been found suggesting that anything has happened to Harry. So his friends and I have no plans to stop looking for him," say long time friend**,**** Hermione Granger.**

In reply to this, Kingsley added, "We have no plans to ever stop looking for some sign of Harry Potter. But we can no longer afford to keep putting so much of our resources into the search." If you are not planning giving up on the search then why is the Ministry holding a funeral for him? "People need to have closer; they need to start getting on with their lives again. We feel this will help them to do this." Was Kingsley Shaklebolts response.

The funeral will be held on the Hogwarts Grounds this coming Sunday. "It is being held at Hogwarts so that anyone who wishes to pay their last respect in person to Harry may do so**,****" ****s****aid Temporary Headmistress, Minerva McGonagall.**

My own funeral, thought Harry. He had not expected this for some reason. Not that he had ever given enough thought to what he was doing. He only knew it was the right thing to do, or at least he hoped it was.

Harry could not take any more of Hagrid's crying, so he continued on with what he was here for. At the entrance to Diagon Alley, Harry tapped the correct brick from under his cloak. He had found out not that long ago that nobody seemed to notice the wall opening of its own accord. He was rather surprised to find out that it opened by itself four or five times on any given day. So he quickly walked over to Flourish and Blotts to wait for a chance to enter the shop unseen.

It was nearly an hour before the first person entered the store. He knew the store so well by now that it was fairly easy for him to proceed to exactly what he had come there for. It was a thick brown leather bound book titled Historic Duels. It had caught his eye the last time he had come here for a book titled Transfiguration and Dueling. He then walked over to another book that he had seen a long time ago but never had any interest in till now. This one was a black leather bound book called Funeral Rites and Spells. Harry took both books and shoved them into his pack. After leaving more than enough Galleons on the register, he stepped out of the store. He didn't have to wait for anyone else to open the door for him this time. Once he was out of the store no one would come looking for who had left.

But the moment he was back out on the street he was stopped in his tracks by what he saw. His heart sunk as he saw Mrs. Weasley coming down the street, with Ron and Hermione following right behind her. They seemed to be holding hands, but all three of them looked about as happy as Harry was himself these days. He knew it was his fault that they were all still this sad. He hoped that they would have moved on by now. Surely they would have to get over his disappearance sooner or later, though, right?

"It really is better this way," Harry told himself in a whisper.

"Come on, come on we have a lot to do these next few days. No time to dawdle," Mrs. Weasley called back to Ron and Hermione.  
"We still need to get Ron and Ginny's new Dress robes for the funeral. They have both grown so much since the last time they needed them."

"But Ron's old dress robes will give everyone a much needed laugh.," Hermione said with a small laugh herself although she quickly suppressed her smile. It hurt Harry to see everyone ever so depressed. But there was nothing he could do about it now, he told himself.

"Now where has Ginny run off to?" asked Mrs. Weasley, looking around.

Harry too looked up and down the street as well, hoping to see her.

"She already ran ahead to Madam Malkin's," answered Ron. Harry supposed that was a good thing. If he had seen Ginny, it would have been extremely hard for him to stay hidden under the cloak.

As soon as they walked past him, Harry swiftly made his way down the street going the opposite direction. They'll be fine, he thought to himself. It will just take a little more time.

Harry was soon back at number four Privet Drive. He spent the rest of the day reading his books and thinking about what had happened earlier in the day. That is how he spent most of his days now. It was very late at night when Harry finally put down "Funeral Rites and Spells" and drifted off to sleep hoping for a repeat of last night's dream.

_Harry, Ron and Hermione made their way out of the entrance hall of Hogwarts and out onto the grounds heading toward the black lake. After a short time though__,__ it was clear that it was not the lake they were heading to. It was a large white building that was situated next to the Black Lake._

Just as the building came into view_,__ Harry stopped walking and just stared at it for a bit. His friend stopped a few steps ahead turning back to see what he was doing._

"I think I need to do this alone…." He said, his voice trailing off.

"Harry! We don't know for sure if the grounds are perfectly safe yet! You can't just go wandering off by your self! Honestly! You really are very naïve sometimes, you know?" Hermione said, slightly exasperated.

"Hermione, _h__e just defeated one of the most dangerous dark wizards that the Wizarding World has ever seen, I'm pretty sure he can handle a walk! And so what if he meets a few remaining Death Eaters? He can take them. Not to mention he's the owner of the Elder Wand…" __s__aid Ron, but he stopped talking when he caught the scandalized look Hermione shot at him._

"Fine! But we're walking you most of the way down there, just in case_,__" said Hermione, looking quite anxious. Harry silently agreed with this. There was no point arguing with Hermione any further. Plus, the comfort of having his two best friends on either side of him gave him confidence to do what was needed to do._

Only a few yards from the tomb_,__ the group stopped. They all knew what had to be done so without saying a word Harry continued walking towards the tomb. As he got closer he noticed that it had not been repaired since Voldemort had invaded it. With a stab of anger, Harry also noticed that the tomb was crumbling in places where it had been slashed by Voldemort. He would make sure this was fixed as soon as it could be managed. However it made his job a lot easier at the moment. He would be able to just walk in and return the Elder Wand. He only hoped that it would stay there until long after his death, therefore finally breaking the charm. The Elder Wand would not be able to work ever again. _

_He proceeded, closer and closer to the tomb, being careful not to cause any further harm. Harry had been bracing himself on the walk to the tomb. He knew that to return the wand would mean he would have to see Dumbledore's body. The thought that the man Harry had always looked up to, even thought to be indestructible__,__ now lay here so vulnerable was unbearable. _

_As Harry peered down at Dumbledore's body, he __was__ amazed to see that he didn't look different at all. Dumbledore looked at peace with the world as he lay there. Almost as though he was in an enchanted sleep, having a most wonderful dream. It looked like he could wake up any minute and smile at Harry with that twinkle in his bright blue eyes. _

_Harry thought back to Hermione's words. He was naïve, yes, but not nearly naïve enough to believe that Dumbledore would wake. No matter how convincing the magic was that kept Dumbledore looking so eccentric. After all, as Dumbledore had always told Harry, there isn't any way to truly awaken the dead. Harry reached down and placed the Elder Wand gently beside his mentor. He smiled at the man who had helped him find himself._

Harry had just turned back to re-join Ron and Hermione when something truly horrific and unexplainable happened. His scar had shot open in pain, burning as though he had been stabbed by a hot knife. Harry let out a monstrous scream_;__ pain as he had never experienced before was ringing through his entire body. He fell to his knees with both hands ironed hard to his forehead. He was going to die. He knew it, the pain was too much. Just as he was about to black out, the pain had stopped almost as suddenly as it had started. _

_Harry very slowly stood up again, his vision completely blurred. His mind was racing. How could this be? His scar only hurt when Voldemort was feeling a particularly powerful surge of emotion. How could he feel emotion, though? He was dead! Had he, Harry, not just killed him? Had he not finally put a stop to this connection? With a jolt of fear__,__ Harry wondered if he could still be a horcrux. Did something go wrong? Another flaw? For one heart-stopping moment, Harry had a horrific thought__,__.__ If Voldemort really was back, then everyone he loved would be at risk once again. This was his fault entirely, if it wasn't for him, would all these people have died? Of course not! Harry turned back to look at Dumbledore; slowly he reached down and took back the Elder Wand. "I'm sorry, Sir. Until the battle is over, truly over, this wand isn't safe here. " Harry turned and walked briskly away from Hogwarts, his first true home. Away from everything, from everyone._


End file.
